Changing the stories we inherit.
He Is Not Your Project is a relationship literacy initiative helping women and girls recognise unhealthy patterns, trust their instincts, and understand that another person's behaviour is never their responsibility.
1 in 4 women in Australia has experienced intimate partner violence since the age of 15.
— Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2023
The insight behind our work
Women don't stay because they miss the red flags.
They stay because they've been taught to interpret red flags as projects.
Most relationship education focuses on his behaviour. He Is Not Your Project focuses on our beliefs.
"If I love him enough, he'll change." "He just needs someone to believe in him." "I can help him become the man I know he can be." These are not failures of intelligence. They are the natural result of what women have been taught love looks like.
Our mission isn't to tell women to leave. It's to give them the knowledge to choose — clearly, confidently, and without guilt.
Knowledge is prevention.
Why we exist
Prevention starts before the harm.
We believe prevention means teaching someone to recognise unhealthy patterns before they become normal. It means giving women and girls the language to describe what they're experiencing, the confidence to trust their instincts, and the understanding that respect, safety, and accountability are not optional in a healthy relationship.
When women understand what healthy love looks like, what accountability looks like, what emotional maturity looks like, and what beliefs keep them trapped — better decisions follow naturally.
That's prevention. And that's what He Is Not Your Project is built to deliver.
Our framework
The Relationship Literacy Framework
A journey from awareness to action. Our five-pillar framework takes women, educators, and communities from recognising unhealthy patterns all the way through to rebuilding something better.
Recognise
Learn the red flags, warning signs, and relationship patterns.
Understand
Explore trauma bonds, attachment, manipulation, coercive control, and the beliefs that keep us stuck.
Reclaim
Rebuild confidence, boundaries, identity, and self-worth.
Respond
Find practical strategies, safety planning, and support options.
Rebuild
Create healthy relationships, stronger communities, and a better future.
Who this is for
This work is for more people than you might think.
He Is Not Your Project is not only for women already in unhealthy relationships. It is a prevention resource — and prevention reaches further.
Teenage girls
Dating for the first time, forming their first ideas about what love looks like. The earlier the education, the stronger the foundation.
Mothers
Who want to give their daughters the conversations they never had — about respect, boundaries, and what they deserve.
Schools and universities
Building relationship literacy into the curriculum so that healthy relationships become the expectation, not the exception.
Counsellors, social workers, and community organisations
Working with young people and survivors who need practitioners equipped with the language and frameworks to help.
Employers
Who understand that domestic violence doesn't stay at the door — and that supporting staff wellbeing is part of building a safe workplace.
"We don't teach women how to fix men. We teach women how to recognise healthy relationships, understand unhealthy patterns, and choose themselves without guilt."
"The only person you can change is yourself."
"The most important change you can make is learning what you deserve."
What we do
Education that changes outcomes.
The Book
Coming August 2026A foundational text for educators, practitioners, and anyone working to understand the roots of relationship harm and the evidence for prevention.
Get the Book
School Programs
Curriculum-aligned programs for teachers and students that build relationship literacy from the ground up — age-appropriate, trauma-informed, and evidence-based.
School Programs
Professional Courses
Specialist training for professionals working with young people and victims of domestic violence — building capacity where it matters most.
Professional CoursesOur courses
Knowledge you can act on.
Our courses are designed for women, educators, and professionals who want to understand relationship dynamics more deeply — and do something about it.
Red Flags 101
Learn to identify the early warning signs of unhealthy relationships — and understand why they can be so easy to miss or explain away.
Understanding Coercive Control
A deep dive into the patterns of coercive control — what it looks like, how it escalates, and why it is so often invisible until it isn't.
Healthy Relationships
What does a genuinely healthy relationship look like? This course builds a clear, practical picture — respect, accountability, safety, and mutual effort.
Why Women Stay
An honest, compassionate exploration of the beliefs, conditioning, and circumstances that make leaving far more complicated than it looks from the outside.
Boundaries Without Guilt
Setting and holding boundaries is a skill — and one most women were never taught. This course changes that.
Teaching Girls About Healthy Relationships
A practical course for parents, teachers, and youth workers on how to have the conversations that matter — before the patterns take hold.
Rebuilding After Emotional Abuse
For women navigating life after an emotionally abusive relationship — rebuilding identity, trust, and confidence from the ground up.
Our impact
We measure what matters.
500+
Schools reached by 2030
10,000
Educators trained nationally
250,000
Young people reached annually
Partner with us
This work requires all of us.
We partner with schools, universities, government agencies, health services, and community organisations to embed relationship literacy where it is needed most. If your organisation shares our commitment to prevention, we want to hear from you.
"Prevention is not a program. It is a culture. And culture is built through education."